Archive | February, 2012

Why My High School Education Sucked

23 Feb

Here we go, rant of the day. This week I sent in about 6 cover letters and resumes for summer internships. Each cover letter took me a good 2 or 3 days to finish because I was never taught how to write a cover letter. EVER.

Here’s how I feel: this is a problem. A very big problem. Why? Well, correct me if I’m wrong but most big-time employers ask for one along with your resume, no? So how the hell do teachers expect us to go on to college and the real world without knowing how to write a cover letter?

I don’t blame this on my professors at college. I can’t. I should know how to write a cover letter as a sophomore in college. It only makes sense. But why did I not learn this in high school? We spent so much time reading Shakespeare plays and analyzing how crazy Hamlet is, and that honestly has not helped me too much. Learning how to write a cover letter however, would have saved me a bunch of time this week.

This brings me to my final point… what is taught in high school should help you after you graduate because by the time you get to college, it’ll be too late.


Edited, Censored and Photoshopped

22 Feb

I had an epiphany today.

I am a frequent reader of magazines like Seventeen and Cosmo and while I read them I always ask myself questions about why some things are the way they are. Let it be known now that I am not trying to offend Seventeen or Cosmo (because I do want to work for their super successful company this summer), however I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way.

For example…. why have Dakota Fanning and Selena Gomez been on the cover of Cosmo in the past two months? I don’t know about Selena, but I’m pretty sure Dakota is like…16. Is that even legal? That just doesn’t sound logical to me.

Now here’s the big question…even in the super “sad, real life” stories in Seventeen, why do the stories all have happy endings? Any “real” girl would know that unfortunately you can’t always have your cake and eat it too.

This is my idea… If I were to ever run my own magazine, I would try to make it as “real” as possible. None of that happy ending crap. None of that put minors on the cover next to “His Best Sex Ever” headlines.

After a lot of thought, I’ve decided that my ultimate goal is now to start and successful run and have people read my magazine. And not just read it as in “I’m reading Cosmo (actually just skimming through to see what looks scandalous or has nice pictures)”. I want girls, young women, to go out of their way to read this magazine because they know everything is real and everything is not just some edited, censored, photoshopped bullshit.

Anyone that agrees/disagrees, I would love to hear from you. Also, titles for this potential magazine would be greatly appreciated.




19 Feb

I wish everyone was more like my cat. And by everyone I mean the human race. Let me explain –

I have recently noticed that the majority of problems that happen in relationships between families, friends, couples, fuckbuddies, etc, occur because of lack of communication. If only everyone spoke what was on their mind at all times, there would be so much less drama in the world. Don’t get me wrong, I DO love me some Gossip Girl but I would prefer it if my life were the farthest thing from being like it.

My cat makes communication seem simple.  When he’s hungry, he meows. When he wants water, he meows. When he wants to play, he brings the toy over and meows. When he’s happy, he purrs. Just now, he wanted me to pet him so he jumped up on my lap. Whenever he wants something he lets me know and we don’t even speak the same language! Do you see what I’m saying here? WHY CAN’T HUMANS BE LIKE THIS?!

Maybe I’m right, maybe I’m overlooking things, or perhaps I just really love my cat.

The way I see it, yes, maybe humans have a lot more to lose when they speak up, but at least they won’t have a whole lot of anger bundled up inside of them if they do. So in conclusion, I will say it again. I wish everyone was more like my cat.

Reflections and Waterfalls

19 Feb

For a long time I pictured my future as follows: go to college, move out, go to some more college, become a psychologist, end up working in a school as a guidance counselor, meet some nice teacher man, get married, have babies and maybe a puppy.

Which for the record, would have been a fine future, but I think the one that is in my path now might be a little brighter.

I would have never imagined myself becoming a writer. It was always something I was passionate about but I can’t say I ever saw it as a career choice. I must have about fifty journals from when I was 13 to about 17 at my parents house. When my mom asked me to throw them out when I was moving I considered it to be the worst insult anyone has ever thrown at me. It just didn’t make sense.

I explained to her that those notebooks contained half of my childhood. What I said, what I didn’t say, what I wish I could have said…all things that would probably be either depressing or hilarious to read now. Regardless, she still did not understand why I wanted to keep those notebooks. This is when I realized that writing was more important to me than most people.

A few weeks ago I started to think about what I wanted to do after I graduated college. I decided on that I really want is to work for a magazine like Cosmo or Seventeen, or maybe one day I could even start my own publication. For the first time ever today I walked into the Hearst Corporations building in Manhattan. This is the building in which the Cosmo and Seventeen offices are located. The first thing you see when you walk in is a waterfall. Yes, a big fucking waterfall. I sat there in front of it for a bit and reflected on the past few months of my life. I’ve done pretty well for myself, I thought. I have a part-time gig that I actually like. I live with my boyfriend, we have a cat, and well, that is pretty awesome. School is school (enough said) ,but come summertime I’ll be one step closer to having an actual career (that being my ultimate goal).

This waterfall opened some doors for me. It made me realize that no matter how much shit I have to put up with now (not sleeping, never having free time, etc.) , NOT TO SOUND CLICHE, but it will all pay off when I wake up in the morning to be greeted by this same waterfall. I no longer WANT to work there. I need to.

Daniel Martinez

16 Feb

I have always said that it is best to keep one’s personal life off of the internet, however, I would like to dedicate this post to someone who is by all means worth mentioning.

This past weekend I learned that an ex-coworker of mine passed away. Just knowing this made my whole weekend a blur. All I could think about were the good times I had with him regardless of how much I hated that job. Later I found out that he took his own life and that, tore me apart. For the past three days I have been constantly checking his Facebook profile to see if people are still leaving RIP comments, secretly hoping that this is some kind of sick joke. Realizing that it’s not, I’d like to say a few things.

I remember so clearly when over the summer he would steal the bright pink sunglasses I would wear , put them on and he’d say to me ” Don’t be jealous because I look better in them.” Or how he would always tell me that I looked pretty with my hair up but with my hair down I looked like a hot mess. Or how he promised to come out salsa dancing with me but unfortunately, we never got to it.

Those flashbacks have been replaying in my mind all week, and I’m still in shock. This goes to show you how quickly you can lose someone and never get to fully appreciate them or your friendship. So, I would like to take this time to thank you Danny for making those day shifts at Hard Rock so much more bearable. Thank you for all of the laughs. Thank you for all of the smiles.

Rest In Peace.

When You Wish Upon A Star…You Can Be Like Emily Eden

16 Feb

Passion. Do you have it? Knowing what you want to do with the rest of your life takes time. On average, people don’t know what they’re going to be doing until they’re already doing it. But if you already have something in mind, how far are you willing to go to make it? Emily Eden, a young actress from a small town in England told me her story and it truly defines passion.

I would like to start off by saying that not only is Emily an incredibly talented performer, but she is also one of the sweetest people I have ever met. She greeted me by saying that she was just so glad to be spending time with me (what a great way to start an interview!) As we proceeded to talk about her life and future plans, I realized that this girl is going to be such an inspiration to so many young people. Not just aspiring artists, but anyone who has any doubt about their future.The one thing she made very clear to me was that you always just have to believe that you can achieve your goals. Believe in the impossible, follow your dreams, and do what makes you happy.

Emily’s hometown in England was very small, typical country-like setting. She saw the same people everyday, took turns going to the same four shops everyday. She really had very little options especially when it came to her interest in the arts. At age 11, she went to a school that was very focused in the arts and it was then that she realized that performing was her passion. She loved her music classes, always had the lead roles in school plays and most importantly had a goal. As soon as she could, she was going to head to New York and conquer the world. The easiest way for her to start on her path was to start studying at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts. This is when Ms. Eden had to face her first obstacle: money.

Like any other school in NYC, AADA is very expensive. It is a two year school, each year going for about $60,000. That did not stop Emily though. She wrote about 200 letters to everyone she could think of and got no support. Still, she didn’t give up. She stayed up until four in the morning baking cakes to sell with her friends, sang with drag queens and managed to get half of the money. At the time, she was also working at one of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s theaters selling champagne. They must have seen her potential and ambition because Andrew Lloyd Webber actually sponsored her to go to school for that year. As the end of the year came, Emily began to worry about not having the money to continue studying at AADA but with the gracious amounts of help and support of her teachers, she was able to stay at AADA and graduate the following year.

In coming to NY Emily had to leave her whole family behind in England. At first they were very hesitant when it came to accepting her dreams of becoming an actress. They expected her to grow up and get married, have a 9-5 job, have a stable income. It was hard for them to realize that she would have to live an unstable lifestyle for a while until she got to where she wanted to be. I asked Emily how she dealt with this obstacle and she said “Yes, it was hard because you don’t want to hurt the ones you love, but in the end, you are your own person and have to do what is best for you.”

The life of an aspiring actress is not easy. Working 5 jobs, 6am-midnight days is sometimes required. The moment you least expect it though, people will notice and they will admire you for it. That is what will keep you going, that is one of things that keeps Emily going. Emily could have gone to Oxford University, could have been a doctor or a lawyer but that would not have made her happier than she is now because she wouldn’t be doing what she loves regardless of the obstacles she had to face. Emily has already been in national commercials, has done various voiceovers, been on number one tours, has taken part in off-broadway shows and had over 100,000 hits on her webisode and also wrote a sitcom for BBC TV. She is currently auditioning for Broadway shows and well is on her way to winning an Oscar. So readers, if you ever feel discouraged, keep Emily’s story in mind and if you see a shooting star, wish on it. It worked for Emily and it can work for you too. You can do anything you put your mind to as long as you just believe.

My Latina Manifesto

16 Feb

When you hear the word “Latina” what is the first image that comes to mind? For most people, a picture of Jennifer Lopez or Sofia Vergara pops up in their head. To me, this is very unfortunate because regardless of how beautiful or sexy or successful these women may be, they have made quite a reputation for themselves and not because of their talent. Rumor has it that both of these ladies slept their way up to the top and being a Latina myself,  I am upset that they represent us in the media. No, I am not mad about the fact that we are known for having a curvy body, but there are so many more things that can be said about Latinas that do not have anything to do with the way they look.

Latina women generally grow up with parents and families who have very strict expectations of them. The conversations usually go like this  ”Hija, your goal in life should be to marry a rich man and have lots of children.” Or, “Hija, you have to go to school, get a good job, then marry a rich man and have lots of children.” Unfortunately for traditional Latin parents, their daughter’s plans don’t always coincide with what they want. The struggle to study what they want, or date and marry who they want is always a tough one. How do you know what the right thing to do is when your family is telling you one thing and what is making you happy is another?

I know from first hand what this feels like and trust me, being torn like that is probably the most painful thing I’ve ever had to experience. That decision to be happy only made me more confident of a woman and made me realize that I do not need to be dependent of anyone anymore. This brings me to my next point. Being a Latina, especially of Mexican descent, I have heard time and time again that a woman’s job is to be a housewife and a housewife only. My mom tells me that if I can’t cook that I will never get married and that if I don’t clean, a man will never want to be with me.  Do I actually believe that? Not at all.

The thing is, I am really sick and tired of these stereotypes. It is bad enough that society is obsessed with the sexuality of a Latina, but then they have to go and say that we don’t the right to go to school and have a career? GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE, que mierda. I think that it is now 2012, and that this housewife image of us should no longer exist. I think that we can do anything because naturally, we are confident and driven. Those qualities are what makes us sexy, more so than our curves. We are Latinas and we don’t have to sleep our way to the top.


You Are Better Than This

16 Feb

My childhood was not terrible, in plain English. I do not have any memories of being unhappy as a child therefore I cannot provide you with a sappy novella about how my parents abandoned me or how I ran away because they did not treat me right . It wasn’t until I hit the teenage years that it seemed like everything started to fall apart. Some people would blame it on puberty, but that wasn’t entirely the case. Now, at twenty years old, I can safely blame everything on my low self-esteem which COULD have been caused by my hormonal imbalance. It is true that there is no way to avoid this feeling of being lost when you’re a teenager, but there are better ways to deal with this feeling that I do not think everyone is aware of.

The problem I had is that there was no one around to tell me that I could do better for myself. For five years I was waking up every morning scared to get out of bed because there was always some kind of commotion going on outside of my room. I felt as if the only place I was safe was my bed because there my family could not involve me in their drama. Let it be said now that I was never physically abused, but sometimes I think I would have preferred that rather than all of the emotional abuse I went through. At least a punch would be over in a few seconds, the hurtful things that were said to me and the arguments just lasted forever. Even now some of the things that were said to me ring in my head over and over again. 
When a child is being bullied, it is easy to tell them to just ignore the bullies and move forward. But is it that easy when the bullies are the people that are supposed to be your guardians, your supporters, your family? Not really. For whatever reason whenever I was home I always had someone making me feel pathetic, useless. I was always in trouble and never knew why. I always heard “Why can’t you be more like…?”. No one ever told me I was good at anything so I figured I deserved to be treated like I was nothing. Unfortunately, when you are in this situation, the realization point, the time when you say to yourself “I am better than this”, doesn’t come to you until you hit rock bottom, or at least that is what happened to me. 

As upset and angry at life that I ever was, the thought of suicide never came to mind until that one night. I had witnessed two of my best friends take a turn for the worse because of drugs and depression so I felt like I had to be better than that to help them. I guess the majority of that time period in my life I was so focused on helping them, that I did not bother to look at myself and realize that I needed help too. If there is one thing that I learned from this is that you cannot change people no matter how much you want to or think that you can. If they need to change, they have to realize it on their own and then if they WANT to change, they will. Regardless, I wanted to be superwoman and when I realized that I couldn’t be, that made me feel like I had nothing to live for. Between that and all of the things I felt like I was not getting from my family, I lost all control. 
What I really wanted and needed was for people to appreciate me. I felt like I needed their approval. I constantly looked for ways to get others’ attention and for them to tell me “good job, Ashley!” or “I’m so proud of you!”. But I learned the hard way that you can’t  rely on others to make you feel good about yourself. You have to feel good about yourself before others can truly see how wonderful you are. I know that I am not the only person who has felt this way, and to those of you who can relate, this is my message to you. You ARE better than this. 

Green-Eyed Jupiter

16 Feb

I named this blog after my cat, Jupiter.

As you probably guessed, he has green eyes. I wanted to name my blog “all about sex, love and other drugs” but that was already taken (who would’ve thought, right?) So, I moved on to the next best thing, my kitty.

Although I did not want to make this blog about him, I must say he is very supportive of this. Whenever I sit down to write, he is always there next to me. Sometimes, he’ll try to attack my pen as it moves from one end of the page to the other. Other times he’ll just lay on my lap and stare (like he’s doing right now). Either way, I guess he deserves a blog in his name. So Jupiter, here you are. This blog won’t be about you, but its yours.