Tag Archives: society

Hard Out Here: For a Bitch, From a Bitch

14 Nov

I want to start of by saying I love Lily Allen.

The Fear-great song. 22- Amazing. Smile- also one of my favorites.  The first time I heard her new song/watched the video for “Hard Out Here” I was confused – I actually almost even got a little mad a Lily. But then I realized- Holy shit, she is a fucking genius.

Verse 2 says it all:

If you’re not a size six
Then you’re not good-looking
Well, you better be rich
Or be real good at cooking
You should probably lose some weight
‘Cause we can’t see your bones
You should probably fix your face
Or you’ll end up on your own
Don’t you want to have somebody who objectifies you?
Have you thought about your butt, who’s gonna tear it in two?
We’ve never had it so good, uh huh
We’re out of the woods
And if you can’t detect the sarcasm
You’ve misunderstood

The lyrics are good…the verses, really really speak the unfortunate truth of what it is to be a woman (especially being a woman in the entertainment industry). 

People are questioning her reasons behind hiring the dancers she did, and this was her response:

“The video is meant to be a lighthearted satirical video that deals with objectification of women within modern pop culture,” she wrote. “It has nothing to do with race, at all.” She said that she tried for weeks to get her own twerk moves down but couldn’t get it right, and so hired the best dancers for the job; and that the reason she was more clothed was insecurity about her figure (reminding fans that she did have two children recently).

“I’m not going to apologise because I think that would imply that I’m guilty of something, but I promise you this, in no way do I feel superior to anyone, except paedophiles, rapists murderers etc., and I would not only be surprised but deeply saddened if I thought anyone came away from that video feeling taken advantage of, or compromised in any way,” she wrote, before concluding with an invitation to “Ask the ladies yourselves @shalaeuroasia @monique_Lawz @ceodancers @TempleArtist @SelizaShowtime @melycrisp.” – LA Times

In conclusion, from one bitch to another, way to go Lily. It is indeed Hard Out Here.

PS: I hope I look that good after I have kids.

 

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Guns and Children Should Never Be in the Same Sentence

16 Dec

As soon as I read about the CT shooting, I told myself I should hold myself back from commenting because although I love to start controversy, when it comes to guns and children, I happen to be very sensitive.

What changed my mind?  This article.

A story about a woman, Liza Long, who has a child with a mental illness who often threatens to kill her and himself.  One day he pulls a knife, the next day he threatens to jump out of  a moving car, and when she’s lucky, he only resorts to calling her a “stupid bitch”.

I try not to say anything on topics I don’t know much about. In this case, America’s gun policy. Which is why I am not writing about why guns are bad, or if we should be able to carry them because honestly I do not know. What I do know is that what we should be talking about is mental health. Especially the mental health of children and teens.

I have read too many comments about taking away guns and not enough about taking care of our children. And though I may not have children yet, I can only imagine what mothers like Liza Long are going through. How awful it must be to call the cops on your preteen son because you have no other option. How awful it must be to hear him say the words “I hate you” when you are just trying to help.

Adam Lanza (CT gunman) was only reported to have autism, which is not a mental health disorder, it is a neurodevelopmental  disorder – it could be that he felt some sort of prejudice because of his learning disabilities. But who knows? And now we’ll never know after his life was lost along with so many innocent children.

Now more than ever, with 1 in 88 being diagnosed, children with autism may face more prejudice and understanding than ever because of the CT shooting.

It is sad that it takes such a tragedy to realize the problems in this country.  And while I’m not sure if guns are the problem, I am positive there is more that we can do to help children and teens with mental illnesses.

Please Don’t Tell Me I’m Beautiful – How I Feel

8 Sep

“I understand that we live in a culture where “beautiful” and “female” have a long and complicated relationship. I know that women want to comfort each other through the hurt of living in an air-brushed, surgically-enhanced, Top Model, Cover Girl society. I also know that the word “beautiful” can be used to describe the inner person and not just their looks. But I have to wonder if we’re really doing ourselves more harm than good when we insist on giving beauty such a dominant space in the sphere of women’s lives and conversations. Even in “acceptance” movements, beauty is a central theme.

Why is not okay to be un-beautiful? Why is it so painful to admit a lack of objective beauty where it may not, in any objective sense, exist?”  “

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“Why does the matriarchy feel so drawn to steeping itself in assurances of beauty? Not that I’m using men as a role model, but they don’t tip-toe around the subject of physical attractiveness, stopping to console each other that their beer bellies, balding heads and scarred faces are really, truly beautiful. They don’t insist on denying their realities or the realities of other men by promoting the concept that all men are “handsome” in their own way. Instead, they have come to take for granted a patriarchy where “handsome” may be a gift, but unattractiveness is really not that big of a deal.

I wish we’d get there. I suspect that when women quit focusing so much on beauty, theirs and other women’s — whether physical or in the broad sense of personality — that we will be able to change our real-world consequences. We will be more truthful, more realistic, more effective and therefore more tangibly helpful to one another.”

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“We’re never going to make it okay to not be physically beautiful if we don’t get off this beauty kick we’ve been on for so long. We’re not going to change our futures and those of other women as long as “beautiful” remains a priority. We’re not going to change the culture that places such an inordinately high premium on female attractiveness as long we keep promoting beauty myths through the lies we tell ourselves and each other.” 

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These are all quotes from Jane Devin’s Please Don’t Tell Me I’m Beautiful

Usually I am the first one to say that every woman is beautiful, even if society says they aren’t. Devin however, gives a different take on the situation. I don’t think she’s wrong at all. Maybe the American culture isn’t wrong, maybe it’s just us women who take it too seriously. 

It takes a strong woman to know what she is and what she isn’t. It takes a strong woman to know what she can and cannot do (because most of us think that we’re Superwoman). And lastly, it takes a strong woman to know what she deserves and when she deserves better whether it be in love, career, and just life in general. 

Maybe, we should start caring less about what our “culture” is, and start taking ourselves more seriously.

Thoughts?