“Hey Shawty”

1 Sep

If there is something I hate more than creeps undressing me with their eyes on the subway, it’s creeps that feel the need to “holla” as I’m walking past them. 

I don’t get why they never get the hint and they generally catch me at the worst times. I’m usually rushing to class or work. As if that’s not stressful enough, they have to get real close and say something ridiculous like “I like the way you hold that pole.”

Katie J.M. Baker just posted something on Jezebel with her most hated cat-calls. Here’s a snippet: 

5. Baby

“Baby” may be the most annoying pet name in the minds of Siteopia’s survey-takers, but I think it’s the least annoying catcall because it’s so inoffensively banal. “Baby” is like the vanilla of catcalling. It feels almost half-assed. If you’re going to try and assert your masculinity over me in a public space, can’t you try and be a little more original?

Alternatives: Babe, Baby Doll

4. Sexy

It’s gross whenever a stranger yells “SexXxXy!!” at you — particularly when you’re not trying to look sexy for anyone, like when you’re wearing sweats and a T-shirt with stains on it en route to get your allergy prescription — but at least it’s straightforward. A “sexy” is so obvious that you don’t feel the creepy pseudo-intimacy that comes along with other names further down the list…

Alternatives: Sexy Legs/Lips/Insert Body Part here, Sexy Mama

3. Princess

PSA: You should never call any girl a “princess,” but you should definitely never call anyone over the age of nine a princess. Unless she is actually a princess. Which, unless you hang out near Buckingham Palace, she is probably not.

2. Sweetie

“Sweetie” is a few notches ickier than “sexy,” because it’s not just your looks that are being ogled: it’s your personality. A “sweetie” said in a lecherous tone sends (the wrong kind of) chills down my spine because it infantilizing, patronizing, and connotes little-girl subservience. The worst part is that people sometimes think you’re weird for being offended by a “sweetie,” because it’s, well, sweet. So the catcaller gets to be all butt-hurt and think you’re a bitch if you don’t respond well to his “nice” sentiment.

Note: I have friends from the Midwest who don’t get offended when they’re called “sweetie,” because they say it’s more commonplace there. Maybe it’s a coastal thing? Few strangers say “sweetie” to adult women in California (where I’m from) without iffy motives.

Alternatives: Sweet Thing, Sweetie Pie, Honey

1. Whistling/Kissing Sounds

THERE IS NOTHING WORSE THAN THIS because it makes you feel like you’re not even a woman, just a barnyard animal, or maybe a piece of furniture. Maybe even worse: that teeth sucking sound.

Extra Credit: “Smile!” NO I WILL NOT. 

I especially love the extra credit.

And you know, as much as I want to blame these creeps for making poor choices in their pick-up lines…it may not be their fault. The #2 song on the charts this week may explain it all. 

“can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby”. 

Gotta love Flo Rida. 


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