Why Can’t We Be Friends?

18 Jul

Girl on girl hate; you’d think it would get better as one gets older right? Usually with age comes maturity, wisdom, security. Wrong. While thinking about the issue and sifting it out internally, I happen to come across a show called The Bad Girls Club (BGC), and if that show doesn’t epitomize the ever living presence of girl on girl violence I don’t know what does.

So, why do we do it ladies? Why must some feel the need to overshadow, belittle and oppress others when we ourselves everyday are shown how unworthy we are? What with media force feeding artificial femininity, and what high fashion magazines portray and what beauty experts claim? It seems as though we are becoming people who are pre-programmed in self-hatred. What exactly does it stem from? I have some ideas: a) insecurities, b) a fear of failure [in
attaining desired appearances], and c) an unwillingness to tolerate or accept difference.

The reasoning varies among the ages of girls, but the one that always seems to burrow its way to the core is my third suggestion, an inability or rather refusal to accept or tolerate difference. When people are confronted with things that are slightly altered from the norm, whether it is presentation, personality, lifestyle, sexual orientations, morals etc., it tends to create a rather overdramatic clash. The girl who enjoys a good book instead of a “good time” is more than
likely getting the cock-eyed look from her neighbor if she happens to be someone who spends more time at the H&M than Barnes and Nobles. A lot of this became apparent as I watched a couple of episodes of The BGC. For a lot of the women, the equation was simple and explosive:difference = potential threat, which means that difference + intolerance = oppression (or a lot of unnecessary violence in this case.)

Violence against our fellow females only results in a bigger setback for US. We become too wrapped up in the very ideals that a lot of women including myself, consistently and mindfully try to reject every day. These ridiculous ingrained desires to be or become something that in all actuality does NOT exist (i.e. the “model type”, the “dime piece”, the “bad bitch”), seems to be rotting the female from the inside out. These terms and labels are all subjective, and it is you as
an individual and as a woman who can define yourself and by showing acceptance you allow for other females to do the same. It’s a move towards both empowerment and agency for all and brings more security and happiness than violence against another can ever bring one.


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