A Letter to Teenager Ashley by No Longer a Teenager Ashley

16 Jun

To my dearest younger self,

I want you to look in the mirror and tell me what you see. Not-so-clear skin, not-so-straight teeth, curves in all of the wrong places and let’s not forget those (only) B cups. Your eyes are pretty, color-changing in the sun, but there’s too much sadness behind them to see them shine. Your best friend moved away so now you have no desire to make real friends in high school. Your mom expects too much of you and it’s making you miserable. Your dad makes no effort to take part in your personal life even though he sees you struggling and you live under the same roof. Your brother has always been your support system but now he’s a teenager so he doesn’t need you as much as you need him. And lastly, your first love dumped you four times in four years for the same girl every single time.

The only people you can turn to live miles and miles away. You can only lean on a keyboard, a pen and a collection of notebooks you will keep forever. You write songs to let go of your emotions but you won’t show them to anyone. You try to help people that don’t want help, and you open up to people who won’t help you but only want to help themselves. Everyone tells you that things will get better soon but you don’t want to hear it because “soon” isn’t soon enough and what if they’re wrong? You’re constantly looking for something, answers maybe. If what you’re looking for is guidance, this is what I’m going to say to you.

Things are going to get better, you just  need to stop trying to change everyone else’s life around you and change your own . You need to care less about everyone else and more about yourself. You need to let go of the emotions you’ve been holding onto for too long. Your heart can only take so much and someone better will come along. Until then, make your future your first priority.You have dreams and you know that you can do anything you set your mind to do. Stop trying to fix the people around you because as much as you’d like to believe that you can, you can’t and you won’t ever be able to. Remember who respects your decisions and whoever doesn’t, isn’t worth going to extra mile for in the end. Once you start taking care of yourself, everything else will fall into place. Life is only good to those who can make it good for themselves. Be good to yourself and let people know how wonderfully talented,smart and witty you are. If you can’t do yourself that favor, who do you expect to do it for you?

And most importantly, know yourself.

Much love,

Me

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2 Responses to “A Letter to Teenager Ashley by No Longer a Teenager Ashley”

  1. Robynn Dupler July 8, 2012 at 5:00 PM #

    Your last few lines are the best advice anyone can give you and yourself. Find something more worthy, outside of yourself. Find a goal, work towards it. Find someone worthy of your help. A local nursing home is full of old people who feel just like you do. Go visit them. Reach outside of yourself. All that love you have bottled up someone else will take willingly. I think your blog is a great way for you to do all of the above as well. Good job! Robynn

  2. Dani Vicentini July 10, 2012 at 10:25 PM #

    loved it! really helped a lot and it made me think about certain decisions ive made in my life i enjoyed it very much!

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