Tonight I Can Write by Briana Sepulveda

30 Apr

“Tonight I Can Write”

 

Tonight I can write to the love I lost.

 

I can offer him words I always meant but never said

and continue to agonize over things I’ve said

but never meant

hopelessly awaiting the return of the bitter satisfaction I once found

within his sincere pessimism; my darkened admiration intertwined

with the horrible truth inside me

invisibly thinking:

I can never be her…

 

Tonight I can write to the love I lost

 

I’ve written about missing him

which saddened me…

Yet to think of the times when I haven’t written of him

and haven’t missed him

this saddened me even more.

Losing love in the sense of love lost

bares numerous interpretations;

In my understanding, it was not he that I lost

but the love we once possessed that I can only write about.

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