Who Am I?

For my publishing class we had to write at least 500 words answering the question “Who Am I?”. I reacted to this assignment like any other 20-something-year-old girl would, “…F***! Who the f*** am I?!” But after finishing this assignment, I realized why my professor was making us write this. Read on…

My name is Ashley Kervabon, and I am one half of the indie rock duo that calls themselves “Pretty in Blue”.

Music is and always has been my passion. For a while I gave up on it because many people discouraged me by saying it was not a “stable” career choice, whatever that means. It wasn’t until recently that another girl and I began to exchange song lyrics and rough demos of what we had written in the past when it occurred to us that we should partner up and see what comes of this team. This is how Pretty in Blue was started.

We have been working on original songs and covers since November, and thankfully we’ve been doing pretty well. We have about 14 originals and 4 covers ready to go. Pretty in Blue did their first open mic in January at Paddy Reilly’s Music Bar and has been asked to return almost every weekend since . After the first month of just playing at Paddy’s, I realized we should probably start booking our own shows, and so my PR experience (with some added charm) was able to book us gigs at places like The Bitter End (which is next Tuesday, the 30th at 7:30pm).

While I would love to tell myself that I could settle for a PR job with a decent salary, I don’t think that’s quite the case for me. As crazy and shady as the music business is, I want to be a part of it. I often daydream about hosting SNL with my bandmate and signing autographs. I sometimes plan out my answers to questions I think that Ellen would ask me if I were ever to be on her show. And last but not least, I also recently made a list of what I would name our line of “Pretty in Blue” fragrances.

At this point in my life, I’m just doing what I have to to get by. I’m in school, not because I want to be a doctor, or a lawyer, but because I need a degree so that I don’t end up waiting tables for the rest of my life like so many other aspiring artists out there.

Truthfully, I’d like to think of myself as a lot of things; a lover, a friend, a writer, a rockstar. But who am I really? A 21-year-old girl with a shit ton of dreams (and absolutely no money).

The New Dove Campaign Video #RealBeauty

Watch the video below. What’s the first thing that comes to mind?

Being honest, the first thing I said to myself was “I wonder what my sketches would look like.”
And as I was watching the video I said “Oh…yeah…my face is also rounder and fat…I don’t really have a nice thin chin though…”
But I’m okay with that. At this risk of sounding cliché, I’ve learned to love my body, how chubby my cheeks are, etc. And I do agree with what they say in the video…Whether you embrace your natural beauty or not, shows in your personality. When you walk into a room, people feel that kind of energy – “it is critical to your happiness”.
I’d like to say that I am an extremely confident woman. I’m not conceited, I just know what I can and cannot do well. I don’t spend time dwelling over the things I don’t like about myself and instead embrace the qualities I do like. And I’d like to think that that’s why people are attracted to me. By that I don’t just mean sexually, but in every way, whether it comes to jobs, friends or family.
So I guess I know what my sketches would look like. They’d be identical because I think I see myself the way everyone else sees me. I don’t put on a “happy mask’ for people. But as this video shows, that isn’t the case for everyone.
While this video was empowering for some, it just made me sad. It worries me that more and more women don’t realize the power of their natural beauty or how important it is to know who you are and along with knowing who you are, being happy with who you are.
Hopefully by watching this video other people with realize the importance of this too.
Dove just got a shit ton of brownie points in my book. #realbeauty

Wasting My Youth

Reblogged from Sex and Sadness:

There are a lot of things that my mother has been right about over the course of my teenage years. Now, a month short from turning 21 years old, I am beginning to question if this is one of them.

I would love to argue with her and tell her that she is wrong. Tell her that age is just a number and that he loves me.

Read more… 679 more words

Guns and Children Should Never Be in the Same Sentence

As soon as I read about the CT shooting, I told myself I should hold myself back from commenting because although I love to start controversy, when it comes to guns and children, I happen to be very sensitive.

What changed my mind?  This article.

A story about a woman, Liza Long, who has a child with a mental illness who often threatens to kill her and himself.  One day he pulls a knife, the next day he threatens to jump out of  a moving car, and when she’s lucky, he only resorts to calling her a “stupid bitch”.

I try not to say anything on topics I don’t know much about. In this case, America’s gun policy. Which is why I am not writing about why guns are bad, or if we should be able to carry them because honestly I do not know. What I do know is that what we should be talking about is mental health. Especially the mental health of children and teens.

I have read too many comments about taking away guns and not enough about taking care of our children. And though I may not have children yet, I can only imagine what mothers like Liza Long are going through. How awful it must be to call the cops on your preteen son because you have no other option. How awful it must be to hear him say the words “I hate you” when you are just trying to help.

Adam Lanza (CT gunman) was only reported to have autism, which is not a mental health disorder, it is a neurodevelopmental  disorder – it could be that he felt some sort of prejudice because of his learning disabilities. But who knows? And now we’ll never know after his life was lost along with so many innocent children.

Now more than ever, with 1 in 88 being diagnosed, children with autism may face more prejudice and understanding than ever because of the CT shooting.

It is sad that it takes such a tragedy to realize the problems in this country.  And while I’m not sure if guns are the problem, I am positive there is more that we can do to help children and teens with mental illnesses.

Bad Bitches and Ladies, by Vanessa Rene

Lupe Fiasco has, for a while now, been one of my favorite rappers. I’ve loved his impressive wordplay and his clever lyrics, his amazing storytelling and sick flow. And for a little bit, I considered myself a Lupe stan. He could do no wrong in my eyes. Food & Liquor is a masterpiece. The Cool is probably my favorite album of all time. I pretend that Lasers (an album that was released, ultimately to appease his record label…he distances himself from that record every chance he gets…) never happened. And I, like the rest of the Lupe stans out there, anxiously waited for the announcement of when he would be releasing his next album,Food & Liquor II: The Great American Rap Album.

I came across the lead single from the new release off his Facebook page.

The song, “Bitch Bad” is definitely a conversation starter: Lupe tells the story of how two young individuals define the phrase “bad bitch.” A young man heard his mother use it while rapping along to a song. He loves his mother; she takes care of him, and raises him well, so he associates “bad bitch” with women who are like his mother.

A young woman comes across the phrase while watching uncensored rap videos online without parental supervision. To her, being a “bad bitch” is to be like the women seen in those ‘raunchy’ rap music videos: they’re beautiful women who have caught the attention of powerful men in the music industry. She sees the video vixens as role models because of all they were able to achieve, and begins to call herself a “bad bitch,” in hopes of aspiring to their success.

The two eventually meet, and don’t particularly hit it off. They both have two different meanings of the phrase.

The chorus is where the cognitive dissonance starts for me. I can’t enjoy the song as much as I’d like to, nor can I hop onto the message that Lupe attempts to expose because he raps:

“ ‘Bitch’ bad, ‘woman’ good
‘Lady’ better, they misunderstood…”

And in the last verse, he even goes so far as to say, “…greatest: ‘motherhood’.”

While the discourse could be interesting (I can identify with his praise of motherhood, while still acknowledging how problematic it is to suggest that all women aspire to become mothers), especially considering the political climate with regards to Black womanhood, his assertion goes hand in hand with the larger “virgin-whore” dichotomy that is so pervasive in our society. Black women are particularly under such scrutiny.

A Little Segway for GreenEyedJupiter

Hey readers!

It’s nice to be back after a well-needed break. I have some pretty exciting news and some great posts coming up very very soon (from some new writers as well)!

But now I would like to talk about something pretty unrelated to everything we stand for at GreenEyedJupiter.

As some of you may know, this blog was named after my kitty, Jupiter. Well now, Jupiter happens have his own blog, and just released his very first music video. I hope that as my long time readers you can support my cat and follow him on his journey to potential fame.

Please share re-blog this, tweet it, share it, etc. We really appreciate our fans!

So here it is, after this post – back to business.

We’re Publishing a Book!

(Hopefully) In 2013, a book will be published that will share the whole concept of GreenEyedJupiter. Wish us luck on our next adventure – we apologize if the posts aren’t as frequent as we are in the process of putting the book together. 

 

So excited! 

#PopStarsDoEat #ThatsOkay

It’s bad enough that we don’t leave Lindsey and Amanda alone, but now we’re shitting on Gaga? 

For real? 

So what if she put on a couple of pounds? It really isn’t anyone’s business except hers. First she was too skinny, and people would make remarks about her tweets “#PopStarsDontEat”. Now all we’re hearing is that she’s been eating too many cheeseburgers. 

According to an article on Jezebel, she said this about six months ago: 

“I used to throw up all the time in high school. So I’m not that confident,” said Gaga. “I wanted to be a skinny little ballerina but I was a voluptuous little Italian girl whose dad had meatballs on the table every night.”

She also admitted:

“Weight is still a struggle,” she said. “Every video I’m in, every magazine cover, they stretch you — they make you perfect. It’s not real life … I’m gonna say this about girls: The dieting wars have got to stop. Everyone just knock it off. Because at the end of the day, it’s affecting kids your age. And it’s making girls sick.”

I used to think she was a little crazy. I’m not going to lie about that but now I really feel bad for her. 

Especially since she is right. No celebrity or normal woman/teenage girl should have to go through that kind of pressure. And I’m really glad that another celebrity is taking a stand. 

Ralph Lauren Introduces First Plus-Sized Model

Could this be an advancement in accepting body image in the fashion industry? 

At size 12, Robyn Lawley becomes the first plus-sized model to represent Ralph Lauren and says: “There are so many plus-size models in New York doing so well at the moment,” she tells “GMA,” “and it’s only going to get better.”

And we hope this is the case. 

Previous to be coming a plus-sized model, Lawley was pressured to diet and change the way she looked. For three years (ages 16-19) she struggled with trying to fit in, and now, here she is as a Ralph Lauren model. 

Congrats Robyn! 

Here’s a pic of the lady (I think she’s gorgeous by the way): 

Check out the full coverage on her on Huffington Post. 

He Went to Confession Every Time They Had Sex

Please read. Originally posted on The Cut by an anonymous writer. What would you do? 

The sex was great. That wasn’t the problem in my four-year relationship with Rob. He knew what I liked and how I liked it. The problem was the mandatory shower and praying afterwards. The hours we’d spend at church on Sundays. The talking about how we were going to hell.

When I started dating Rob after my freshman year of college, I wanted to have sex, but he said he wasn’t ready for it because he was so religious. Rob was raised Protestant, but his closest friend had been really Catholic and told him that no one was mentally ready to have sex before they were married. He took it to heart. I chose to respect that, but I got so many mixed signals. Rob would escalate things, and we’d almost have sex, almost undress, and then he would stop and say we couldn’t go any further. There was a point, and he made the conscious decision to have sex — then a few weeks later, he felt really guilty and said we shouldn’t do it on a regular basis. It continued like that for the next four years, even when we lived together and slept in the same bed every night.

I would get him drunk, telling our friends to feed him shots. I’d lie around our apartment studying in a G-string. I had a few sets of lingerie that I knew would work when I was desperate. I would do almost anything to have sex with my boyfriend. Sometimes it would happen a few times a month, maybe a few times a week if I was lucky. Then he’d swear off sex for weeks, until he couldn’t take it anymore.

Even though the church bans the use of birth control, Rob was okay with using it. God forbid I get pregnant — abortion would never be an option.

Even though we shared an apartment, we technically kept separate bedrooms. His had a twin bed with a crucifix on the wall and a little desk where he studied. My room was the one with the big bed and the candles. He ended up every night in there with me.

We never missed church. We’d leave our friends or stop watching a game, drop everything to be there for mass on Sunday. A few times a month, we would stay after mass and confession and say the rosary. It would take an hour, 45 minutes if I did it quickly. I was a Catholic, I was raised in the church, but even this was a lot for me.

The guilt consumed him. He would try to convince himself that premarital sex was fine because he was going to marry me anyway. He was going to be with me forever, or so he justified it. But even that wasn’t the case. The fall after we graduated from college and moved into a new apartment with both our names on the lease, he cheated on me.

I found out through a friend of his. It destroyed me. This was the man I was going to marry, had spent four years with; I had put up with all his issues. And then he goes and sleeps with some girl from grad school.

He’s still with her, probably because he feels too guilty to leave her. They’re having sex, I know that. I think that is what broke him, crossing that one line he said he would never cross. As for me, I’m married to a wonderful man now, one who doesn’t make me feel like a temptress whenever I want to get laid.